Two Lists for These Days

One of the joys of having lived in another culture is that you find new ways to express yourself.  Our 7 years in London meant that I picked up a whole bunch of ways to say things. It’s not just the different words used – jumper instead of sweater, and what we call jumpers are pinafores – but the way words are used.

The one that popped up for me recently was the phrase “I can’t be bothered to….”  It’s used to express something you’re not going to do. “I can’t be bothered to get up and get it,” for example, when you want something that’s across the room but you don’t want it bad enough to get up and grab it.

This came up for me when once again I was trying to tame the many cowlicks that make my hair look weird. Tufts poke up in odd places and won’t obey my will and applications of water or hair paste or gel. I notice too often at the end of the day that there’s a lock of hair that has gone astray somewhere along the way.

On our way back from vacation this week, I made up my mind when looking in the mirror in the bathroom on the plane and spotted how goofy my hair was being. When we got home, I got out the clippers that I used to cut my hair all through the pandemic. With hair only ½ inch long, the cowlicks are tamed enough that they don’t bother me at all.  As I ran the clipper over my head watching clumps of hair falling onto the towel that protected the sink and counter in the bathroom, I said to Peter, “With everything that’s going on I cannot be bothered to fuss with my hair any longer.”

And it dawned on me that I might well need a “I Can’t Be Bothered” list to get me through these days of high stress and worry as we watch the political chaos that’s happening all around us.  And, of course, it dawned on me that you might need a “I Can’t Be Bothered” list, too.

What sorts of things can you do to help smooth out life for yourself in these days? It can be anything that causes a bit of irritation. Maybe you need to take one day each week to step away from the news and to stop scrolling through social media. Our nervous systems can always use a little break.

And there’s the other half of what we need in times like these: more kindness, more compassion, more love, more connection. How will you embody these in your life?  Perhaps you need to remind yourself to breathe deeply or to relax your shoulders. Deepen your connections to your community and know solidarity.

The world feels (and is) chaotic at this moment, and we all need to be ready for the long haul to find make it through. So take up what is soothing, let go of what irritates, step up to helping to make a difference. We’ll get there together.